Full Moon in Paris (1984)

Pascale Ogier playing Louise (in the pic above) kills this film stone dead for me.

Baby-dolled, soppy-eyed, big-haired, stick-insect. “You appear very ethereal” says Octave (who wants to get more than friendship going with her, but she keeps kneeing him in the nuts) For ethereal, substitute squeakily ingratiating. God she’s irritating!

Octave likes explaining her to herself; which she laps us cus she’s self-obsessed like he is about all things moi. “You chose men who are beneath you, to be safe” he opines. “When somebody loves me too much, i love them less” she opines. Much opining is done in Rohmer films. Plenty plenty wordage. And verbiage. And meaningage

Her dancing in this film is unintentionally hilarious. Jerky head, jerky arms. Top half of body disconnected from bottom half. A head not in rhythm with arse and hips. Dancing like somebody who doesn’t like sex very much. Dancing like a wind-up dummy at a Gary Numan concert (no, make that Kraftwerk)

After about half an hour I’m hoping Remi (her actual boyfriend) will see sense and dump the skinny drip.

Which he does. She goes teary with self-pity. But she’s bonked some skinny kid too – so no need to feel too much sympathy for her – the silly girl.

And that’s one less Rohmer film to endure. Cus I certainly won’t be watching this ever again.

Dir: Eric Rohmer, France

4/10

And yet sad to say: Pascale Ogier died  – aged only 26 – of a heart attack soon after this film. Which makes me feel slightly guilty.